But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
