Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
