Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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