I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
