If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm both gender and math confused
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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