yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
