If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
