is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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