I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
