dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
