Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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