please come you make the beer taste better
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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