just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
