Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
