it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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