I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
