Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
