Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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