what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She even gives head with a lisp.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
