Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
