you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
