On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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