Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
