dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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