trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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