My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
