Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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