I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
