Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
