After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
