What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
