im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
