HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
