that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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