U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
