for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
