The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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