I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
