she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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