I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
