Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize