One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
there is glitter all over my balls
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
