How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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