So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
