I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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