I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
