I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
