There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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