I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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