You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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