he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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