evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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