how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
